Monday squat/pull

Went in feeling good, still not feeilig cofident in the hole, right calf is starting to feel funny, I let it spasm, but I'm going to go light wednesday and Friday.. It's unfortunate, I was having a great week leading into this, and 5 singles with 365 felt good tonite, it's 90% for singles, so I guess it's ok for it to be this hard, it actually got easier to do the reps as I went along, but I'm still not feeling like I've got it, my descent into the hole is more like me searching for the right position instead of me hitting bottom and coming up hard. When I find that spot, I'll hit 455. Right now, it's just figuring out how to get there. This is kind of fun, I just gauge how I feel when before I head in, usually on the drive there... Decide what I can definitely do for a single, then try for 5, and maybe build to 10... but right now 5 is pretty much fine, especially with deadlifting 3x a week at 80% from different heights. Sucks, really wanted to practice 365 as many times as I could this week... I felt I could definitely get all those reps all week, and that would have been awesome. Right now the down day is a good decision, something isn't right, and I'm not training through it.

Anyhew,

front squats
225,275,315,365xf, way lost it on my toes. 365x5x1 - searched for the hole, i'm sitting knees forward, and I think I need to sit between my legs more, I've just been mindfucking myself by trying to drop straight down, as I'm worried about holding th bar on my shoulders. It's the reason I tend to do singles, I find it hard as hell to hang onto the bar, but I'm also finding the elbows are going to drop on very heavy front squats, and the bar still stays on the front delts, I find when I really contract, my lats are just too tight, and pull my arms down... I'm working on this all the time.

Pull from floor
475 5x3 - really working on locking my legs then starting to pull back. I'm getting better, and I think this is the way to use my hamstrings and glutes, whereas before I'd try to pull with my low back and screw it up. I want to move this weight up, but it's not a race, the total workload is the goal.

Front squat
-wanted to do a few downsets, only got 1x3 with 245... Right calf not feeling good at all.

Feeling like now that my flexibility has evened out, my right leg is actually weaker than my left. The left leg is a planter leg and is actually stronger than the right... so I'm told. Now my right hammy is getting so much work it's just getting tight... this is going down to the outside of my calf causing some internal rotation of my foot while I walk. I think this is a good thing, and is my hamstring strength evening out... that's why the rest will hopefully just let both recover, then I'll just be that much more in balance. Right now, it hurts like hell while I train, and I get worried something is up with my knee... but they're just a bit swollen all the time anyways.