Monday squat/pull

Really wanted to train, then promptly had no desire to train at all. I commend the 9-5 crowd, it's tough... Before, I was never really shut off, which I find a ton easier than stop, medium, go, medium, go, stop, stop, medium, go,medium stop. I can't really do the all the time thing anymore, and it's a lot harder to adjust than I thought it would be. I've still got a ton of things hanging over my head I have to get done, just sort of been finding it tricky to get things done. The blog is easy, I try to give myself an hour of computer time a day. Some days I do more, but that's my time to update my blog, facebook, youtube, whatever. During the summer, I'd watch youtube videos until I fell asleep, but right now, 1 hour a day, just so I stay productive... not that it seems to be a big help or anything.

Did some singles with weights in the 300's, did a triple with 405 in the deadlift. Just took it easy, I have no desire to train, and I'm just stressing myself out because some days it feels like I'll never get to 600. I try to give myself a ton of positive self talk, visualization and really feeling it and keep my sights set on small goals that I think will help. Like if I front squatted 445-455 i'm pretty sure I can do it.

One of my problems is I'm literally scared of that weight, I'm scared of the weights I'm lifting now, I've been so beat up over and over, trained through pain so many times, I think I'm literally scared of how much it's going to hurt to get there. I thought I trained through pain before, then Willie told me to squat every day... yeeesh. I think I'm just going to keep recevoring until things stop hurting, and if I have to train through more than moderate pain, I think I'll just bail.

I've put 600 on my back for quater squats, it just seems ridiculous to be able to go below parallel olympic style with that much weight on your back. Besides the russians, there's like 10 guys I've really found on youtube that do it in a style. In my old style, I'd be smoking 600 right now I think. or well on my way, olympic style might take a bit. At least my bench is going good.

Working for a handyman for a bit, and it's been tricky to adjust to