I started in this sport at about 22 years old, maybe 23, I'm 27 now turning 28, and despite my results lately, I am a veteran when I head to provincial level meets. I'm not always comfortable with it, and still have to learn how to handle the responsibility better, but I am one of the leaders of a young team that's going to be pushing 15 members soon, on our way to 20, then eventually on our way to around 50... Once I get around 30, it may be time to open our own facility, and I have a fairly easy plan in place to do this, one where I'll earn a fair profit, pay the rent, and be able to be continuously be buying new equipment and improving on it.
I've taken a lot from Louie Simmons on how to set that one up. You don't have to be Louie to act like Louie.
But, I wanted to give some advice to the younger men out there. I see this a lot, young guys who come from broken homes, who are in desperate need of a father they aren't ashamed of, that they can admire, and not feel like there's something wrong with them.
You have to think about it this way, you are now the minority if your parents are still together, that's not normal anymore. Sorry to say it, but it's true. What is normal, is for parents to have a bitter divorce, and not be able to take accountability for their part of the divorce. Why would they? they have a son/daughter they need to be perfect for, and they can't ever be wrong in their eyes. I'm sorry to the moms and dads out there... but we know when you're full of shit. We know when you're complaining about Dad, about all the crap he pulled, but we also know your faults and flaws and limitations, and we are painfully aware that you don't face them.
What sort of example does that set? Be screwed up, but blame it on the other person? Is that what our parents are teaching us? When the fuck did it become ok to burry our faults, when did the bad guy become generally cooler than the good guy? When did we start rooting for the underdog, and stop rooting for the overacheiver? When did we say it was ok to bottle up our emotions, and feel that something is wrong, but not talk about it?
To be blunt, it's who we surround ourselves with that really counts. My brother and I are 2 brothers, from the same family, same father, same everything. He's been diagnosed with schizophrenia, and against all odds, I am not. I look at my brothers friends growing up, and I look at mine, and that's the only difference. I surrounded myself with people better than me constantly, and if someone wasn't striving for something, even in elementary school, I just didn't care. My brother was surrounded with kids from broken homes, relying on drugs to dull the pain. My friends had their parents, my brothers friends, I have no idea, but it wasn't pretty.
It's one of the reasons I respect and admire Kevin Cancian so much. His younger brother is his best friend, and Kevin had a tough high school career, then turned it around, and is one of the most natural leaders I've ever seen. Kevin gets it, family is everything. His brother is his best friend, and his brother looks up to Kevin follows his lead, and they'll get into fights, and conflicts, but they always resolve it. Of course they do, family. endures. always.
So it starts in elementary school, high school it gets worse, because we're thrown without warning into such a big pond. We were in the same class, same people all threw elementary school, then high school, it's like the wave of paranoia and negativity just slams right into you on grade 9, and it suddenly becomes what you have to do, and who you should be, instead of who you want to be, and what you want to do.
Of course it's that way, the place is run by giant children, who never became adults, and never left high school themselves. I'd say 80% of teachers are totally fucked in the head. At least high school teachers. I've sat down with principals, and they bitch more about the teachers than the students. That's what it takes to be a leader in teaching, you have to be able to understand kids, and totally forgive them, and understand adults and totally forgive them, but not let them off the hook either. The teachers union is the worst fucking thing that's ever happened to younger men I've ever seen. Teachers strike because they have too many papers to mark? the same fuckers that assign 5 hours of homework a night, whine their fucking asses off about having to do their own homework?!?! FUCK YOU.
Yes I'm using bad language, you know what, it's out of respect for myself. I was 12 years old, when I got caught drinking alcohol on school property, and I'd not used proper grammar in front of my vice principal, and he snapped on me, and I told him I'd talk however I wanted to, and was put on recess suspension for a week. I loved every minute of it, I wasn't backing down to that douchebag. Demanding respect, is just gay. End of discussion, anyone who demands respect or a following, is just a weak little kid, who never left elementary school. That vice principals generation was hammered into respecting their elders, but birthed a generation that broke families. Way to go guys, you want my respect? you want me to treat every middle aged man like a father? FUCK YOU.
I ran a painting company, did over a million dollars in sales, never get rewarded for a thing, and barely made money. I birhted aroud 200 sons and daughters, and had retarded turnover every year, and drove myself insane to be a good father, and to be perfect for them. My friend Dino tried to tell me I was fighting a losing battle, but I wouldn't listen, my father was perfect so I tried to give it to them, my partner tried to tell me, but I didn't listen. Employees would run for the hills, like their own parents, and I'd blame myself like a good father, and kill myself to be better for them. I lost my health, my wealth, my love of life, and almost my mind... but that was how far I had to take it, to just forgive myself for not being perfect. It took 10 years to forgive myself.
The real question, is how the fuck do you forigve yourself?
Well, that shit isn't easy, and the way has been lost. They tell us in the Matrix, fight club, the wheel of time, the sword of truth, those guys that studied religion, that took it back to before we were fucked as a society, and they made millions on the concept, as they should. Visalus is doing it, and I've taken more shit for supporting and promoting that company than I can tell you about, or care to. Fitshop figured it out, Mike Bade is a genius. He and Dave Heisel have turned that place into a family, and a ton of guys just stop in to hang out and talk about lifting, and getting better and they encourage it. Freaking amazing, I give a 30 minute time slot in my days to stop in.
Here's the breakdown, and this took smoking a lot of pot and writing brain dumps like you can't believe, as well as months of studying.
We are born perfect, we use 100% of our mind, and 100% of our body at that time. Reality is forced upon us, and we learn to feel. Our parents introduce fear and the negative into our lives to be able to give a frame of reference for the positive and pleasure.
Our parents love each other, and we learn to love them, and we learn it is right to love the opposite sex. we learn it is right to love our brothers and sisters, and to treat our friends like our brothers and sisters. This can get fucked up if your parents have had problems.
Then our parents divroce, and we must chose sides. if we love of our mother, we worry our fathers hate us, and vice versa. If our parents can't forgive each other, then we learn to not forgive. If we can't forgive, we can't learn to be forgiven. If you can't do that, prepare for a long life of toleration. We learn to tolerate things. We learn to endure the negative. We learn it is wrong to love our parents, that we are not supposed to. We learn that we're not supposed to, and if we do, something is wrong with us. Our parents always try to be perfect for us, so we must strive for perfection and endure that we are not perfect, but to not forgive ourselves for it.
Since the fuck when did that become ok? when did it become weird to talk to a therapist and learn how your brain works, and when did it become wrong to bodybuild, or powerlift, or to take your picture with your shirt off? When did it become weird to eat prepared food following a paleo approach, but realizing we live in the 21st fucking century, and we can use multi vitamins, and fish oil and green tea to help us out because we're explosed to so many toxins? when did hammering a protein shake, because we have to schedule all 24 hours of our day to get everything done, to be able to have the money to get what we're supposed to want, and be able to do what we acutally want to?
Since the fuck when? who made these rules? when did this become ok?
Trust me on this, please please trust me on this. Learn to forigve everyone, learn to understand their side, learn to forgive your parents, then you can forgive yourself.
Here's something to think about, it's not enough to ask your parents why?
ask them about their childhood, ask them about their brothers and sisters, about their parents, about their school. Find out, because until you uderstand your parents, will you actually be able to forigve them. Find a mentor who has done this. I followed many mentors my entire life, I rejected my father, so i started looking for new ones, and the pattern repeated itself, I lost them, either they did it, or I did. that part doesn't matter.
What matters was that I understood my own parents, and forgave them. I understood my mentors and forgave them. I could then, finally understand, and analyze myself... only then could I forgive myself.
Let me tell you, I was not ready for that shit, holy fuck. I had a mental breakdown, and I was in a psyc ward for a week, where they were bound and determined to find out what was wrong with me. I had a dr spend 15 minutes a day, trying to figure out where I was chemically unbalanced to explain it. I checked myself out, against their dumbass recomendations. I was around truly unstable human beings, that actually had brain problems, and it was the most traumatic experience of my life, and my mother and former partner were so scared, that they stopped listening to me, and started listening to this Dr, with horrible posture, who had lost his health, who asked me to stay, but would give me 15 minutes of his time a day, while the highlight of my day was bathing and eating. Yeah I checked the fuck out, I'll keep trying to see if I am crazy out here in the real world, I've got other options that are the same and better, and a family to rely on.
I'm not sure how to explain my breakdown, but basically, I let go of everything. EVERYTHING. I went matrix. I let go of all my negative emotions, and I let go of my NEED of positive emotions, I just gave in to my needs and desires. I felt my mind leak out of my ears, and all that was left in me, was my need of love and a wife, and my need of my family and my home. I'm sorry, I can't get into any more details than that, but I took the first step on faith, and burned my bridges, and thought I was going to die... but I wanted to finally be whole, and i knew that even if I died, i'd die complete and whole, and that was what I was looking for the last 10 years, after my parents divorce.
I'm sorry to say, that FEAR held me back from true love, but my passion drove me forward... it also drove me to making people think I was crazy. It wasn't just my own fear, it was everyone else's. I drove forward for my brother, because I gave myself schizophrenia, so that I could LOVE IT TO DEATH. I conquered whatever demons were in me, for my brother, and for anyone who has lost a family member to that horrible mindset.
I can tell you right now, Schizophrenia is a mindset of fear. I can also tell you right now, that success is a mindset of success, no one lives this more than Matt Britt, the man I chose to follow to be able to get there. Matt Britt isn't a familyman... Mathew FUCKING Britt, he is a family, man.
I took it further, I took it to the extremem as I always do, i took it past fear and love, I took it to the 3rd strength. The 3rd strength is balance, the third strength is tolerating pain, because you KNOW that because of that pain, you feel pleasure. You understand your righteous rage can only be so great as your capacity for love. If you are the 3rd strength, you are the balance between the left and right side. If you are the 3rd strength, you are your NEEDS. Once you can become your needs, you can finally be in balance. Once you can be in balance, you can forgive yourself for the pain of reality, and finally love yourself for the love of life.
My question for you, is if the bible is a collection of stories, and it was passed on the best it could, and can't quite be documented perfectly... my question for you, is what if there was more than one Jesus? What if the bible is a collection of stories from men that had done this and has been passed on?
what if the bible just tells us how to be reborn? Don't worry about the passion of christ, Jesus needed that pain to be able to be reborn, he understood. But yeesh, he really got his butt kicked.
If you are the 3rd strength, please pass this on. and always remember:
FAMILY. ENDURES. ALWAYS.
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